I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
either way he was missing a nipple.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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