hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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