Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
If I die, sorry about rent.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize