i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
