i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
