I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
