THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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