I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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