I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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