Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
