quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
