I was born with a shot glass in my hand
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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