one two three fourrrrnication!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
