We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
