that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Someone shattered a urinal.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
