im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
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