Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It was like getting head from an anaconda
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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