Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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