My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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