So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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