That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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