your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
