apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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