out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
