Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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