He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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