I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
