weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
