you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
