life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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