A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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