Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So gin and wine won't be happening again
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
