Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
