i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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