It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
