My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
