I smell stomach acid.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
