What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Randomize
