New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
