pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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