did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
