Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
