The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
