Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
