His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Randomize
