someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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