Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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