I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
