i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
