he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
