some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
