I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
