actually, I'm a sock model
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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