I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
