i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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