Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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