his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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