Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
