So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
