I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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